Chloe Kardashian’s hitting the Pokie this Friday, and she ready y’all - WORD!

You’ll remember The slightly less attractive/ attention seeking Sister put the Dash in Kardashian when she violated probation after a DUI in March.

Now she’s got 30 (This is Cali, so of-course we mean days) in the clink.

Big(ger butted) Sis Kim told TMZ “Khloe is ready and willing to serve out her sentence, no matter how long and where, and have this resolved.” “I urge people to learn from the mistakes of others. Please drink responsibly and it’s never acceptable to drink and drive!”

Word to Chloe: Dear, next time you wanna be noticed, just dish the family jewels like Kimmy did.

Whilst we’d rather vomit glass, it’s bound to have a cult following somewhere in the depths of cyberhell.

Just look at this.

An X-rated tape of KISS rocker Gene Simmons getting his rock on with an alleged model has arisen on the Web site GenesSecret.com. If you’re a genuine Simmons fan and have plans to stay that way, we recommend giving the clip a miss.

Simmons says of the clip: “You may have heard or seen garbage that has sprung up from my past. Rest assured the proper legal team is looking at all ramifications and options.”

We sure hope so Gene, We’d argue any judge that doesn’t rule in your favor/ have that tape destroyed is neglecting his duty to the pubic public.

Every week there’s a few items that have our newsroom a little queasy to say the least.

But we’re dedicated professionals come fire alarms, bomb threats we’re hear to get the goss to you. So, what are we saying?

Well, seldom is there a travesty that could clear our floors. But this next clip is a definite exception, we had editors squabbling over toilet bowls and interns over waste baskets when The Hills’ Heidi and Spencer dished this viral video of pandemic proportion.

View It At Your Own Risk… You’ve been warned!

If you’ve made it through that - thank-god for this “Superfan’s” light relief.

In true trash style, Hills ’star’ Heidi rocked up to a d-list game release event with arm-candy and professional A’hole/booze hag Spencer by her side.

Fortunately the A.P. didn’t get any video. But we’ve taken the liberty of providing a rush transcript of the x-change.

Heidi: ‘OMG: I like totally, like love you spencer… Do you love me Spencer?’

5 Minutes…

Spencer: ‘I think I just threw up on my shoes, do you think anyone noticed?’

Next.